


hit me where it hurts

by breakable



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Barebacking, Canon Compliant, Extremely Resolved Sexual Tension But Extremely Unresolved Emotional Tension, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-10 23:28:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20536400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breakable/pseuds/breakable
Summary: Helping a bandmate through a secret emergency heat is just something any good coworker would do. Right?





	hit me where it hurts

**Author's Note:**

> posting at midnight without checking over ur fic is the spice of life
> 
> consent happens during a mind altered state (ie heat) but everyone is very much into everything thats going on!

****There’s someone missing from the kitchen. It hits Jaemin as soon as he steps in, on his way to the coffee machine, that strange primal awareness of pack like a phantom limb, though with Mark now gone it’s always twinging just a little. But it means he knows exactly who isn’t around without having to scan the room. 

“Where’s Renjun?”

Chenle shrugs. He’s tucked comfortably against Jeno’s shoulder, eyes tracking Jeno’s phone screen as Jeno taps away. “He was still sleeping when I left the room.” 

“Someone should wake hyung up…” Jisung mumbles into his mug, still blinking the sleep from his eyes. “Or he’ll be late.”

“Not it,” Donghyuck says immediately. “Last time I went to wake him up he nearly threw me off the top bunk.” He wipes away an imaginary tear. “I could have _died_.” Jaemin would be more sympathetic if Donghyuck didn’t have the best reflexes out of them all and also if Donghyuck hadn’t gleefully leveraged this against Renjun on at least two separate occasions to make him pay for his lunch. 

“Have you considered trying to wake him up any way other than jabbing him repeatedly in the ribs?” Jeno says dryly.

“No?” Donghyuck says, like it should be obvious. “Where’s the fun in that?”

Jaemin sighs. “I’ll go get him,” he says.

It’s just one long block of choreo rehearsal on the agenda today, and then a solo schedule for Donghyuck in the afternoon, so it isn’t a huge problem if Renjun’s slept in a little, and Jaemin’s actually glad for it—Renjun’s been looking more ragged than the baseline level of comeback preparation exhaustion warrants, lately, all dark under-eye circles that had the makeup noonas clicking their tongues, half in exasperation and half in concern. But he’d smiled and ducked his head under the admonishments and promised to rest up, so that had been that.

Still, this isn’t very characteristic behaviour from Renjun, and it’s better to be safe than sorry. Jaemin knocks on the door to Renjun and Chenle’s shared dorm room. “Injunnie? Are you in there?”

There’s no answer. Jaemin frowns. Lightly, he presses down on the door handle, and it doesn’t give way. Locked from the inside. _Okay._

“Injun-ah?” Jaemin tries again. 

That finally gets him a response. “I’m fine,” Renjun calls from inside the room. It would be more convincing if he didn’t sound like he’d swallowed half a truckload of gravel. He still doesn’t open the door, and unease starts filtering in. 

“Are you sure? You don’t sound that fine,” Jaemin says, projecting as much concern into his voice as he can. “Are you feeling okay? Did you get sick, I can go get manager-hyung, I’m sure you can get the day off…”

Jaemin pauses, wrinkling his nose. The door is heavy, a block of clean woody scent, but there’s another smell filtering slowly through the air underneath, the faintest tinge of something sweet and cloying. He can almost taste it on his tongue. If Jaemin’s honest with himself, it smells an awful lot like— 

“Injunnie,” Jaemin says carefully. “Are you—are you in heat?”

Silence. Then there’s a thud, like Renjun’s hurled something at the door. Possibly himself? 

“I’m _not_,” comes the furious reply, much closer than before, and that answers one of Jaemin’s questions, at least. “I’m not, don’t say it, I’m not in—” 

Here’s the thing: officially, Renjun is a beta, because it aligns better with the pure boy image he was assigned back when they debuted. Off the record, he’s an alpha. It’s an open secret. Everyone knows it—the group, the fans, their peers. His rut suppressants are literally in the bottle lined up beside Jaemin’s behind the bathroom mirror, though it’s not like Jaemin ever looked much further than the label.

So to say it’s a shock is an understatement. Jaemin’s heart skids inside his chest. “I’m gonna—I’ll go and get—” _Mark_ is what he was going to say, but he’s overseas on tour with 127 and even if he wasn’t he’d be a dorm away, anyway. Someone must know what to do, though, this can’t be the first time this kind of thing has happened, and Jaemin needs to leave before the scent starts getting to him.

“_Don’t_,” Renjun hisses, the urgency in his voice bleeding into panic. Jaemin stops mid-step. “Na Jaemin, if you get anyone else involved I will never forgive you as long as I live.”

It takes Jaemin a few seconds, mostly because he’s terrified of getting it wrong. And more than that—of what it’ll mean if he’s right. “Then,” he says, mouth so dry the word nearly cracks. He swallows. “Are you saying… do you…” 

“Please.” It’s a wisp of a word, barely audible, and Jaemin knows he shouldn’t, knows Renjun is only saying it because his judgement is compromised. But even through the door the smell is so unthinkably sweet Jaemin’s head spins, and it’s always been so hard to say no to Renjun, especially knowing how much he hates asking for help, admitting to any sign of weakness. 

“Okay,” Jaemin says, “okay, let me just—I’ll tell everyone to leave first.” 

It goes against every single one of his instincts to turn and walk away from Renjun, but he’s good at self-control, reining in his restless alpha, coasting on autopilot as he steps back into the kitchen and sells some bullshit excuse to the others. No, Renjun isn’t coming. Yes, he’s fine, Jaemin’s just going to stay behind too, to keep an eye on him. Yes, they’ll be okay alone. Jeno’s the last person to file out of the front door and the look he gives Jaemin is probing, promises a conversation to be had later. But that will be later. For now Jaemin takes a deep breath and strides back to the room, trying to wrestle his heartbeat into line. This time, the handle gives way when he tests it, and the door swings open under his hand.

Now that there’s no barrier, the scent is unmistakeable, almost like a punch with how strong it is. It’s everywhere, filling up the room, flooding his mouth, hooking claws into him. The last time he was around an omega scent this overpowering was back when Jeno presented and he was the only alpha nearby for ages. Everything narrows down to Renjun, sitting propped up against the foot of one of the beds. He’s breathing harshly, hair already a little damp with sweat, watching Jaemin with huge dark eyes unsteady as liquid. His sleep shorts leave his slender legs bare, and Jaemin absolutely cannot be thinking about that right now.

There’s a sharp metallic undertone to Renjun’s scent that Jaemin recognises as fear. He’s seen Renjun scared before, rattled by a horror film or really anything that managed to get under his stubborn yet strangely fragile defenses, but never like this. Carefully, he steps forward. He kneels down in front of Renjun, making sure to give Renjun plenty of space to react to any perceived threat, and when Renjun just keeps staring at him, layer by layer he loosens the firm grip he usually keeps over his own scent, allowing it to emanate out into the room too. Honey warm and strong surrounding the overwhelming sweetness of the heat. Renjun freezes up, like he’s trying to fight his body’s instinctive desire to relax, to give itself over in the presence of an alpha.

Alarmed, Jaemin starts pulling it back, but Renjun shakes his head, a tight jerk of a movement. “It’s okay,” Jaemin finds himself saying, “hey, hey, it’s just me, it’s safe—”

A growl rumbles out from Renjun’s chest. “I can’t fucking—believe this,” he says. He speaks each word with such deliberate, clear enunciation it must be taking an astronomical amount of focus. “0.01% chance of suppressants failing. And it had to be _me_.” 

“I can just—I can wait it out with you,” Jaemin says. “We don’t have to… we shouldn’t. What you want isn’t…”

Renjun screws his eyes shut. All of him trembles with tension, as if he can’t decide whether to flinch away or press forward. Then, through gritted teeth, like it’s costing him everything, he says, low, “It hurts.”

Jaemin thinks about Jeno’s presentation, out on a school trip to the country, the awful first heat that hadn’t broken for hours and all Jaemin could do then was hold his hand and surround him with his scent as comfortingly as possible while they waited for help to arrive. He’d hated seeing Jeno in pain, hated not knowing how to make it better. Hates seeing Renjun the same way, except there’s a solution open to him this time. He’d be happy to take care of Renjun, if Renjun wanted him to. But not like this—not when he isn’t sure whether it’s Renjun talking or the heat, not when he’s just found out that the oldest alpha left in the Dream pack isn’t an alpha at all, and he can’t even imagine how much of a blow to Renjun’s viciously kept pride it must be to let another alpha see him like this.

Also, there is something distinctly pathetic about fucking your crush through an emergency heat just because you happen to be the only available coworker with the right biology.

“This doesn’t change anything, you know that, right?” Jaemin says softly. His heart thuds painfully against his ribs. “You’re still Hwang Injun. The same as you’ve always been. I’m not—nobody’s going to treat you any differently. Nothing changed when Jeno presented, when Donghyuck presented. Nothing’s going to change now.”

Renjun laughs, a hard, bitter exhale. Sweat gleams in the hollow of his throat. “It’s different,” he says. “When it’s _you_ . I’m not—I don’t _want _—”

He breaks off. The rosy flush glittering over his cheeks spills steadily downwards. Renjun has always been self-reliant to a fault, every concession hard-won. It’s one of the things Jaemin likes about Renjun, but it means he needs to feel everything out on his own terms. So Jaemin fixes his gaze on the muscle ticking at the corner of Renjun’s jaw. Waits Renjun out. 

It’s like a switch flicked, but that's just the way Renjun is, all or nothing. A blur of movement and Jaemin finds himself with a lapful of Renjun, his face pressed into the side of Jaemin’s neck, breathing him in. His hands fist in Jaemin’s shirt, over his shoulderblades, dragging the fabric askew. The sudden collapse of distance floods Jaemin’s senses with Renjun’s scent, Renjun’s warmth. He’s excruciatingly aware of every single point where their bodies press together.

“Don’t say anything,” Renjun warns, shaky. The brush of his lips against the thin skin of Jaemin’s neck makes Jaemin bite back a shiver.

“I won’t,” Jaemin says. His arms come up, a bit awkwardly, around Renjun’s shoulders. Even through the cotton of his shirt, Renjun’s skin is so hot it’s close to searing. “Is it better?”

Renjun makes a low, desperate sound against Jaemin’s neck that travels directly to Jaemin’s dick. Jaemin’s been hard essentially since he walked through the door, and he’s also been valiantly ignoring the very visible outline of Renjun’s cock through his shorts, but with Renjun sprawled over him like this, basically straddling him, it’s rapidly becoming an impossible task. Then Renjun grinds his hips down and Jaemin’s brain shorts out for a second. His hands fly down to Renjun’s waist to hold him in place, stop him from doing it again.

“This is the quickest way to break the heat, right?” Renjun mutters, almost guiltily, before Jaemin can even open his mouth. He shifts under Jaemin’s grip, but Jaemin holds firm; it isn't good enough. “I’m…” He swallows. Jaemin’s eyes track the bob of his throat. All in a rush, he says, “I want it to be you, it has to be you. Please.”

He doesn’t mean it that way, Jaemin tells himself. It’s just—convenience. Biology. Renjun needs an alpha and Jaemin is an alpha and the important thing is that Renjun trusts him enough as a friend to ask. Would he still agree to help if he didn’t also want to kiss Renjun? Jaemin knows he would, but he can’t help the guilt that rears up, like he’s taking advantage of Renjun's incapacitated state somehow. His skin feels like it’s on fire. 

Renjun wraps a hand around the side of Jaemin’s neck. The threat, deliberate and outright, has Jaemin bristling in preparation for a fight, and he has to suppress the animalistic urge to throw Renjun off, pin him down, make him bare _his_ throat to Jaemin. It’s so blatantly straightforward about trying to get Jaemin to give into instinct that he can't even describe it as calculated.

“I know what you’re doing,” Jaemin says hoarsely. He tightens his grip on Renjun’s waist. Renjun doesn’t drop his hand, thumb right over Jaemin’s jugular. “It's—if we do this—we won't be able to go back.”

“I don’t care,” Renjun says. He pushes his thumb into Jaemin’s throat more insistently and before Jaemin’s brain has caught up to the rest of him he’s yanked Renjun’s hand down by the wrist, fingers wrapping completely around the thin bones. The look in Renjun’s eyes is all challenge. 

“_I_ care,” Jaemin says, even though it’s futile. Whatever Renjun wants from him Jaemin already knows he’ll give. He just wishes it didn’t have to be like this. Longing tastes bitter at the back of his mouth. 

“Please,” Renjun repeats. His scent flares, summer strawberry fields. “Jaemin-ah, I need you,” and he leans forward and crashes his mouth into Jaemin’s, rolling his hips down insistently, and that does it, the electric softness of Renjun’s lips against his both everything and nothing like what he’d dreamt of. 

He drops Renjun’s wrist in favour of pulling him closer, kissing him deeper, until Renjun’s almost whining into his mouth. He’d already gone past the point of no return the moment he stepped into the room, but it’s still unreal to have Renjun’s wiry shoulders under his palms, Renjun’s body pressing up against his, Renjun’s heat scent thick and dizzying in the air. 

Jaemin manages enough presence of mind to pull back and gasp out, “We should move to a bed.”

“I still don’t care,” Renjun pants. There’s a glazed-over sheen to his eyes, pupils blown wide and dark. “Want you to—fuck me already.”

“Your knees will care when the heat breaks,” Jaemin says, and Renjun rolls his eyes but tucks his face back against Jaemin’s neck and allows himself to be lifted off the ground and deposited on the bed. Renjun is so fucking small, bracketed by Jaemin’s knees_._

Jaemin kisses him, kisses his pulse, rucking Renjun’s shirt up with the flat of a hand, splaying over the plane of Renjun’s stomach. Kisses his navel, just over his waistband, before he tugs Renjun’s shorts down and off his legs. Renjun’s knees bloom with bruises from the section of the choreography that’s on the floor. The reminder of how easily Renjun’s skin marks up sends a flash of heat down his spine. So much smooth, pale skin on display and Jaemin wants to bite him, bruise him. He wants to sink his teeth into the curve of Renjun’s neck, leave a mark for everyone to see. _Mine, mine, mine._

As quickly as he can, Jaemin gets rid of his own clothes. When he wraps a hand around Renjun’s cock Renjun cries out, back arching off the mattress, all his limbs pulling taut. “I’ve got you,” Jaemin says, low and soothing, punctuating it with a burst of his own scent. Renjun shudders and tips his head back, exposing his pretty throat, and if they weren’t so close to a comeback Jaemin would take the risk of biting down. “I’ll take care of you.”

Knees apart and bent, Renjun tilts his hips up, silently demanding. _So needy_ is on the tip of Jaemin’s tongue before he catches himself. Boundaries, he has to remember the boundaries. Renjun needing him and Renjun wanting him are two very different things, and Jaemin’s all too aware of the gap between them. Instead, he pushes Renjun’s thighs further apart, the skin on the inside there so soft and creamy he can’t stop himself from bending down and nipping at it, hard enough to leave a trail of marks behind, leading upwards. 

Renjun is so wet he’s dripping with it. Jaemin’s breath catches. He rubs at Renjun’s slick rim and pushes a finger in, listening to the quiet, raw sound it drags out of Renjun. There’s barely any resistance, even when he slips a second finger in alongside the first, then a third, thrusting them into Renjun, opening him up, stroking him through the stretch with his other hand. Renjun’s impatience is clear from the way he keeps pushing himself back on Jaemin’s fingers, sloppy and erratic, searching for the right angle.

“Are you _done_,” Renjun says, through clenched teeth, but the desperation slips through the cracks. “Just—I want you _in me,_ Jaemin—” 

Jaemin crooks his fingers a little, and Renjun keens, high, at the back of his throat. “I need to do this properly,” he says. “If I hurt you—” 

Renjun lets out a growl of irritation, reaching towards Jaemin, hand curling around the back of Jaemin’s neck. “I’m ready, come on, I can take it,” he chants. “You’re not going to fucking break me.”

He says it like a _dare_. He’s trying to rile Jaemin up and it’s working. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you,” Jaemin murmurs, pulling his fingers out. Something dark licks at his insides. “You want me to break you?”

“You could try,” Renjun retorts, like the evidence of his arousal isn’t dripping out of him and onto the sheets. His hole flutters uselessly, clenching around nothing. “Come on, alpha, hold me down, _fuck me._”

Instinct overrides logic. Jaemin shifts so he’s hovering over Renjun’s body, pressing him down by the shoulders. Renjun’s mouth is shiny and red and parted and Jaemin sucks Renjun’s bottom lip into his mouth as he pushes into him, so warm and wet Jaemin nearly comes undone just from the intense sensation.

He bottoms out with a groan. “Fuck,” he says, helplessly, against Renjun’s mouth, “_fuck_, you’re so wet, Injunnie, do you know how this feels—” 

Renjun hooks a leg around Jaemin’s waist, drawing him closer. The delicious noises he makes each time Jaemin fucks into him are halfway to driving Jaemin out of his mind and he can’t take it, needs more, a better angle to grind against him. Jaemin pulls out, and before Renjun can snap at him for it Jaemin flips Renjun over, pushing him against the mattress, the breath rushing out of Renjun in a surprised whoosh. 

Almost blindly, he lines his cock up with Renjun’s hole and presses in again, snapping their hips together. Renjun works himself up onto his forearms, bracing himself with every hard thrust, head falling forward to hang against his chest. The grip Jaemin has on his hips is definitely going to bruise but he’s pretty sure that’s what Renjun wants. He stretches up to cover the length of Renjun’s body with his own and kisses the topmost knob of his spine. “You okay?”

Renjun shivers. “More,” he rasps out. “I can take more. Stop holding back.”

So Jaemin lets go. He fucks into Renjun with enough force that Renjun’s arms give way and his torso hits the mattress. Of course Renjun tries to lift himself up again, whole body trembling from the effort, stubborn until the end, but Jaemin doesn’t let him, winds a hand into Renjun’s hair to pull his head back. He sets a brutal rhythm, the filthy sounds of skin slapping against skin filling the room.

“You’re so good,” Jaemin says, barely aware of what’s coming out of his mouth, “look at you, so wet, so open, just for me, you’re—perfect, you’re perfect for me—” 

He lets go of Renjun’s hair and snakes his hand around their bodies to jack Renjun off, fast and rough. Paradoxically, Renjun’s almost soundless now, like he can’t even manage the breath for vocalization. Renjun goes tense, his whole body locking up, clenching around Jaemin’s cock, and he’s spilling all over Jaemin’s fingers with a choked cry. Jaemin slows his pace, letting Renjun ride out his orgasm, and then Renjun whispers, “Keep going.”

Jaemin’s so close, the familiar tightness in his lower belly spreading like wildfire. He rocks into Renjun messily, mindlessly, chasing that explosive point of release. Renjun twists his head around. Looks him straight in the eye. “You’re _mine_,” he says, and it’s enough to push Jaemin over the edge, mind whiting out as he comes inside Renjun, filling him up. In a single moment of post-orgasmic clarity, Jaemin tips his forehead down to rest against Renjun’s shoulder and wishes with every atom in his body that this was something he was actually allowed to have. But he can feel the base of his cock starting to swell with a knot, so he pulls out carefully, heart skipping a beat at the sight of come—Jaemin’s come—trickling down Renjun’s thighs. 

Jaemin collapses onto the bed beside Renjun, trying to catch his breath. Renjun rolls over to face him. His eyes are clear now, the heavy, heady scent of heat starting to ebb away. “Why didn’t you knot me?” he asks.

“We aren’t… we aren’t bonded,” Jaemin says. His tongue feels thick and clumsy in his mouth. “You didn’t need me to knot you for the heat to break, so there wasn’t any reason…” 

He’s probably imagining the way Renjun’s face goes a little distant. Then Renjun reaches for him, winding his arms around Jaemin’s waist. Jaemin goes still, before he pulls Renjun close, mirroring the gesture, tucking Renjun against him. They’re sticky and sweaty, but Jaemin can’t bring himself to care. There’s no harm in it, it’s just physical comfort. Convenience and biology. It carries the same significance as helping Renjun stretch before dance practice, which is nothing at all.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Jaemin says, finally. This part, taking care of Renjun, is still something he can do.

But Renjun shakes his head and shuts his eyes. Like this, it’s nearly impossible for Jaemin to figure out his expression, what he’s thinking, even though they’re right next to each other. “Not yet,” Renjun mumbles. “Just… let’s stay like this for a little bit longer.”

**Author's Note:**

> let me know ur thoughts if u want! <3


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